In a Darkened Room

You're sitting in your large and in charge living room on you're amazingly soft green couch and your best friend is sitting on the other side of the room on your red chair. When suddenly a loud thunder storm rolls over and cuts the power. Now what?
"Dude, what are we going to do now?"
"Well, we got to get the white candles from the kitchen and the highly flammable matches here in the living room."
"Ok, easy enough. I'll get the matches and you get the candles. Now where are they?"
"Where are what?"
"The matches dumb ass."
"I don't know, you have to find them yourself."
"Great, just great."
"Ok, I'm going to go to the kitchen now."
"Fine, have fun with that."

As you make your way down the long dark hall way into your kitchen filled with knives that you can't even see you feel an uneasiness that makes you feel like there is someone else right behind you. You know it can't be your friend, so who could it be. Maybe a ghost that died in this hallway, or a lunatic that escaped from jail, cut the power, and is running around with a knife wanting to kill you.
"Hold up, why am I thinking this?"

You clear your head and continue your long walk. You've gone a few steps before you trip on your very expensive rug made from the finest material money can buy. You fall flat on your face giving yourself a horrible bloody nose. You don't really care very much and you head forward inching your way across the rug wearing nothing but your old socks. As you come to the end of the hall way you feel for the door way, but as your arms swing you hit a vase, not just any vase a blue vase from your mom's birthday party, a blue vase that you bought for a very large sum of money. After the vase broke on your solid white tile floor you hear a sound from the other room.
"Dude, what was that."
"No worries, it was just a vase I got my mom."

As you try to tip toe your way around the sharp pointy glass you can't help wondering, how far did the glass fly. The floor is not that slippery so you think you have gone far enough, but as you put your foot on the ground one stray piece happened to be right there. You step on it and jump into the air screaming like a little girl wanting to see Justin Bieber.
"Holy shit, that hurts. Crap now what do I do."
You slowly take off your blood soaked sock and try to pull out this tiny piece of vase. Sadly you can not get a hold of it. Your stand back up and continue your walk through the seeming harmless kitchen. You try and walk normally, but as you put your foot down and pain rockets from your foot to your brain and throughout your body. So instead of walking you start limping along holding on to the cold counter tops that feel like ice. As you feel around your elbow bumps into a large dark object.
"Yes, the fridge. Now the candles are right above it."
You somehow get on the tip of your toes with no pain and grab the dusty candles.
"Hey, I got the candles. Did you find the matches?"
"Well, how do I put this -- the matches found me."
"What the hell does that mean?!"
"Dude just RUN!"
As you stand there you can't put your head around what your friend was saying, until you hear a scream and not just any scream a bloody murder scream. Right away you start making your way to your back yard and while limping along you hear a dark mysterious voice.
"It is just you and me now."
You come to the glass door of your back yard and realize it is locked.
"Crap, crap, crap."

As you try to do anything to get the door open you hear pictures, chairs, and tables all falling over. You finally decided to just jump through the thin glass that is between you and freedom. You take a few cautious steps backwards and run forward with all your strength, you jump and out you go. You hit the ground hard, landing exactly on your knee cap shattering it completely. As you lay there you feel only the pain of your knee that feels so horrible you can not even move and also the pain of sharp glass stuck in your body. At this moment you are bleeding so horribly it could make a vampire sick of blood. As you lay there you know there is nothing you can do, but take it like a man and hope it is a quick painless death. Now a figure shows up from the darkness holding the blood soaked axe from your fireplace that this man used to kill your best friend. As you close your eyes and prepare for impact, you see your short, but fulfilling life flash before your eyes. And as you hear a slash coming for you, you know it is...
"Wow that was one crappy ass movie. Don't you think?"